The beautiful weather of Spring is reminding us that Summer is near, in spite of another stay-at-home order from the Ontario government. Besides feeling like that drop on the rollercoaster, I realized I had not finished shopping for my kids for their Spring and Summer essentials. Moreover, they are going into their “March” break this week.
There was a bit of a panic because my older son and youngest had outgrown their bikes. I would have loved to take them to the stores to get them their bikes. So I frantically got on Facebook Marketplace for a few days looking for used options. I like buying used, but I find that used items are now priced higher than before. During each lockdown, the prices of used furniture are actually higher and fair-priced items get sold so fast (within 40 minutes of posting) that you might as well sit all day to wait for something and message the seller right away. My son was actually starting to get worried because I was on my phone so much. Little did he know that it was what I had been doing for the last year in order to furnish our home.
That aside, I finally got my kids their bikes. After picking up the bikes, to my expectation, my middle child commented on how he wished he had a new bike. I laughed and told him that he has the newest bike by taking his brother’s old bike, which was bought brand new a couple of years ago. He felt reassured that he wasn’t been left out, but I went on telling him stories of my childhood.
Growing up in Fiji, bicycles were very inaccessible and rare at that time. Somehow my dad was able to have a bike shipped to Fiji along with his inventories. That one little yellow bike was shared amongst me and my siblings, and my neighborhood friends. When my cousins visited, they got their turns too. We all felt privileged to have a bike to share.
I went on telling my little one about how I would double my cousins, one on the back and sometimes one on the front at the same time. My cousin recently reminded me that I had taught her how to ride a bike. I had almost forgotten that. Those free-range childhood days were the best. Going to the shoreline to dig holes in the mud and sneaking into the playgrounds behind the Catholic Church just to be chased out by the nuns couldn’t be left untold. But hey, the Lord sent us there to test their patience… and I wouldn’t think any human could ever pass that test.
Fast forward back to today, my kids are timid and require an extra push to be kids. My youngest screamed as soon as she got on her bike like she was going to fly off her bike with the training wheels. She panicked and tried so hard to get off her bike, which was kind of hilarious. I showed her what I could do without training wheels, and she said she wants to be able to do that but refused to get back on the bike. I said, “ok, we will wait till you are braver, after your nap.”
When it was time to go for a bike ride, she was excited but was also very nervous. She asked me to go home after we had crossed the street. I remember the same protest from my little cousin so I did the same. I refused to condition my child’s irrational fear by letting her go home, so I set a marker and told her to bike down the block and we can turn around, but she must paddle coz I was only holding on to keep her safe.
At one point, she wanted to hold one of my hands for comfort. As much as I wanted to comfort her, I told her she needed to be in control of her bike and stir it to where she wants to go. After a few attempts, she got the hang of it and went an extra block further. She was beaming with joy and was so proud of herself when we got home. I gave her a hi-5.
Matter of fact, she taught me something through this little experience. We often want to grab the person or thing closest to us for comfort when we are scared because of a new or challenging experience. Our need for security comes with sacrifices. Had she grabbed my hand, she would have given up that control of her situation. I was there to support her, just by standing walking next to her, ready to catch her if she falls.
Most of the time, we just need to trust in ourselves that by focusing our energy on doing it with both our hands, we will be okay.
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